On My Honor
Marion Dane Bauer
Clarion Books
Fiction, MG Suspense
***+
Description
Joel and Tony have been best friends since they were too little to remember, though sometimes Joel wonders why. Joel's
a responsible kid, honest almost to a fault, with his own paper route even, while wild Tony never met a rule he didn't
bend or outright break, or a dare he didn't take. His latest scheme - climbing a dangerous bluff in the park - is so
outrageous that Joel's finally considering putting his foot down... but, of course, somehow Tony smiles and charms his
way through, and Joel finds himself talked into it.
They never get to the park.
Along the way, Tony gets another one of his wild ideas: to stop and cool off in the waters of Vermilion Creek. Joel's dad
tells him the water's filthy, plus it's dangerous; there's no way to tell in the cloudy river where the dropoffs or
hidden rocks are. But, naturally, Tony doesn't care, and if Joel can't stop him, well, he might as well join him.
It was all great fun - until Tony disappeared...
Review
This isn't a bad story, for what it is. Joel and Tony have the kind of relationship that may not make sense from a
distance but is all too recognizable: despite their different personalities, or perhaps because of them, they're almost
inseparable. Tony's wildness appeals to straight-laced Joel, and without Joel to coerce into things and tag along Tony
wouldn't have nearly as much fun taking risks and pushing boundaries. Even from the start, there's a sense of foreboding
about their day, as Joel struggles and fails to find the courage to say no, for once, to another Tony stunt that he's
sure will end up with one or both of them in the hospital... or the cemetery. He'd much rather go swimming in the city
pool than climb dangerous cliffs - which is part of why Joel finds himself, despite his misgivings and the warnings of
his parents, following Tony into the murky red waters of Vermilion Creek. Joel's a strong swimmer, after all, so
swimming doesn't seem nearly as dangerous as rock climbing... until a dare turns unexpectedly deadly, and Joel realizes
he's all alone in the river. From that moment, Joel begins to spiral, starting out in denial, then determination to find
help - someone else to make it so this bad thing that happened didn't happen - then to rationalization and panic. Joel's
initial reluctance to face the truth moves from simple silence to outright lies (to himself and to others). Tension
builds as evasions compound, his own twisted feelings threatening to turn into outright psychosis - but by then, coming
clean may almost be worse, at least in Joel's increasingly-unbalanced mind. By the end, he's a different boy than he was
at the start, having undergone one of the most trying rites of passage a young person can endure.
The tale stumbles now and again when Joel's decisions don't always ring true, even given his age and situation; more
than once, I felt manipulated. The wrap-up feels a trifle abrupt, too, for all that it's surprisingly, starkly honest
about the aftermath of the kind of tragedy he's experienced. The whole thing seems compressed, squeezed into a shortened
time frame. All in all, though, it generally does what it sets out to do, and doesn't sugarcoat Joel's experiences (or
his not-always-honorable impulses when faced with the unimaginable).