The Jolly Regina
The Unintentional Adventures of the Bland Sisters series, Book 1
Kara LaReau
Amulet Books
Fiction, CH? Adventure/Humor
Themes: Books, Cross-Genre, Girl Power, Pirates, Seafaring Tales
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Description
Jaundice and Kale Bland have lived alone in their drab little house near Dullsville ever since their parents left on an
"errand" and never returned (at least, not yet, but surely any day now). In the meantime, they mend socks and eat cheese
sandwiches and entertain themselves by watching the grass grow and reading to each other from their favorite (and only)
book, Dr. Nathaniel Snoote's Illustrated Children's Dictionary. It's a dull life, a predictable life, and it's
just the kind of life they want.
Then the stranger knocks on their door with a surprise - the "surprise" being a burlap sack and an abduction to the deck
of a pirate ship. The captain, "Dead-Eye" Delilah, claims that Mother and Father Bland were her hostages not so long ago,
but when they refused to give up the location of the famed treasure of Captain Ann Tennille, the pirates marooned them on
Gilly Guns Island, then came back to grab the girls. If they can't tell Delilah where the booty is, they'll be stuck
scrubbing decks on the ship forever.
Jaundice and Kale know nothing about gold; they don't even like the color (their favorites being brown and gray). Now,
though, they at least know where their parents are, and that they're in trouble (and not out on an errand at all). But
what can two girls who have hardly ever set foot outside their home before, who don't even like the word "adventure",
hope to do about it?
Review
As the description implies, this is a lightweight, often silly little adventure tale starring two girls who would much rather mend socks and stare at their wallpaper than be out and about. Nevertheless, sometimes adventure is thrust upon those who least want it, and with a little scraping of pluck and the help of their dictionary and its educational sidebars, they manage to get by. Characters don't tend to have a ton of depth, but there's sometimes a little more to them than is initially apparent; one thing the Bland sisters learn is that most everyone has a story if you sit and let them tell it. The text is riddled with puns, many of which aim at least a couple generations over the target age, and the narrative is quick and lively. Does the experience turn Jaundice and Kale into seasoned, eager adventurers? Hardly, but they are not quite the same girls they were at the end of their adventure, and the fact that it's Book 1 of a series hints that there's more in store for the reluctant travelers. There's a bit at the end that almost knocked it down a half star, some implications where I was probably reading a little too much into things (with shades of adults misunderstanding possibly-neurodivergent children and their needs and trying to make them be people that they just are not). Overall, though, it made for a quick and amusing yarn.