One of the universal laws of life is that money and rank trump romance... but, at least in the Twenty Kingdoms, True Love and heroism trump money and
rank. So, when Princess Gloria and Sir Terry fall in love, all they have to do in order to secure a happily-ever-after is for Terry to earn her hand through
heroism - say, by slaying a dragon. But things go wrong when rezoning puts the dragon he killed in the neighboring kingdom... and while that's being
straightened out, Gloria's parents sign engagement contracts with the prosperous Westfield family, owners of the wildly popular (if controversial) sliced
bread patent. But this is the Twenty Kingdoms: heroics can beat even contract law. The princess simply arranges to kidnap herself, and her knight in shining
armor will ride to her rescue. At least, that was the plan. Another universal law of life is that even the best-laid plans invariably go haywire...
Review
John Moore's fantasy parodies are lightweight, fast reads, taking fairy tale tropes and stereotypes and turning them on their ear. I'm not sure he covered
much new ground here, though. The characters are fun for what they are, but retain enough cliche traits (particularly sexist traits) to be subtly irritating up
to the end. The story moves decently, at least, with some nice plays on the genre and a few sudden turns. Moore's humor not only tweaks old-fashioned fantasy
tropes, but gender roles, politics, sex, and even GMOs, as people ponder the long-term safety and lack of labeling on the new-fangled pre-sliced bread. As with
all humor, it can be a little hit-and-miss, and some of the running jokes felt a bit stale by the end. For the most part, it was a fun read, short enough not to
overstay its welcome, but it also felt a bit familiar from other Moore titles. It was this feeling of been-there-done-that that ultimately (barely) cost it a
full fourth star, though I'd still recommend this if you're looking for a quick, humorous fairy tale send-up.
In the land of the twenty fairy-tale kingdoms, where whimsy, passion, and danger exist in more-or-less equal amounts, Evil Overlords have been a
long and troublesome problem. So far, heroes have always managed to thwart their foul schemes at the last possible second (usually earning a
well-proportioned wife or husband in the deal.) The Evil Overlord Voltmeter, also known as He Who Must Be Named, might be the first to succeed. He
just stole a powerful Ancient Artifact (Model Seven) from the king of Deserae; using it to power his Diabolical Device, Voltmeter is poised to bring
the entire land to its knees. The theft and threat come just when Princess Rebecca of Deserae, also known as the Ice Princess, is about to announce
her engagement to whomever her father deems most politically advantageous. Most of the suitors are sent home during the crisis, except Prince Logan,
a cunning warrior appointed to lead the assault on the Fortress of Doom (and win the princess's hand for his seemingly-inevitable victory), and Prince
Kevin, who is less warlike and more diplomatic... not to mention the fact that he and Becky have been secretly in love for over a year and were really
counting on him, not Logan, being announced as her betrothed. But Logan's not at the gates of the Fortress yet, and Becky's father said that whoever
returns the Ancient Artifact would win out - surely Kevin can outride a slow-moving army. All he needs to know about recovering the artifact and
defeating Voltmeter can be found between the covers of a handy how-to book he happened upon in the king's library, The Practical Guide to
Heroics. Of course, Becky's not the kind of princess to pine away at home while her beloved rides off to near-certain death, and both Voltmeter
and reality have a few tricks that the guidebook's author never got around to mentioning.
Review
If you've read a few fantasies, you should enjoy this lighthearted send-up of heroic clichés and stock characters. There's a bit more to the story
than that - the characters are sophisticated and self-aware enough to work with the conventions they're part of, rather than being trapped by them - but
mostly it's just a fun read with many funny moments.
When a local sorceress turned Prince Hal into a frog, every girl (and a few women) in Ripplebrook flocked to the swamps searching for him; everyone
knows that any girl, noble or commoner, who frees a handsome prince from the frog spell gets to marry him and live happily ever after. Most gave up
after a few weeks, discouraged by dismal conditions and the death of the sorceress who cast the spell, but Caroline, the most beautiful girl in
Ripplebrook, continued her gruelingly systematic search and eventually struck gold... almost.
Hal, unfortunately, is a decidedly unhandsome prince, and Caroline decides that this simply won't do. She worked hard, she broke the curse, and she's
to marry a handsome prince or take compensation from the late sorceress's daughter Emily, whose own future was thrown into jeopardy by her mother's
untimely death. Hal, Caroline, and Emily end up as uneasy companions as they travel to Melinower, where Hal's family lives. Emily needs a new wizard
or sorcerer to take her on for the two remaining years of her apprenticeship. Caroline, unhappy with Hal's looks and unprincely manner, wants to try
her luck with his two handsome older brothers. Hal has his own problems - the spell that turned him into a frog may come back on him. Meanwhile, the
Council of Lords pressures the aging king to choose among his three sons for an heir... and to deal with the royal family's out-of-control debts.
The question of finding a suitable match for Caroline and a teacher for Emily may end up saving - or destroying - the entire kingdom.
Review
I read this in a single day, and found it enjoyable. Moore weaves in elements of the Frog Prince, Rapunzel, Rumplestiltskin, and other fairy tale
conventions, along with some social commentary. The characters are mostly likeable and the story ties itself together very nicely by the end, though
I'd guessed before then roughly how it would sort itself out. I felt that a little more could've been done with the cruel Prince Kenneth, whose plan
to solve the family debt involved running out the Jewish moneylenders (thus rendering the debts nonexistent), though perhaps that will be left for a
sequel. It's mostly a light book, though there are a few more serious subplots and undertones.
