Envy of Angels
A Sin du Jour Affair, Book 1
Matt Wallace
Tordotcom
Fiction, Fantasy/Humor
Themes: Angels and Demons, Canids, Circuses, Cross-Genre, Diversity, Hidden Wonders, Thieves, Religious Themes, Undead, Urban Tales, Wishes and Curses
**+
Description
Roomie chefs Darren and Lena thought their dreams of New York City careers were over after an unfortunate incident led to
them being blackballed across the city... until they get a phone call from Chef Byron "Bronko" Luck with a job offer they
literally cannot refuse (at least, not if they want to sleep anywhere but a park bench). The first sight of the nondescript
front of Sin du Jour, tucked in a remote and unpromising corner of town, doesn't exactly fill them with confidence, nor does
their first encounter with the staff, for whom the word "eccentric" is far too mild, but once again they don't have much
choice, plus there's something intriguing about such a peculiar outfit. How intriguing, they don't quite understand, until
Darren is attacked by the weird bug that explodes from a jar in the pantry... and until the first meal they're tasked with
prepping has a very special main course: a real, live angel.
Sin du Jour caters to the sort of clientele the rest of the world doesn't even believe exists, such as sparring clans of
demons and the government agencies tasks with keeping their eternal conflicts from claiming too many civilian lives. The
angel feast is meant to commemorate a peace treaty between clans. But even Chef Luck, who has his share of questionable life
choices and clients and whose elite finding team literally goes beyond the ends of the earth for rare delicacies and
ingredients, can't bring himself to butcher one of God's own celestial servants, no matter how big the tip. The quest to
find and prepare an acceptable substitute dish leads to no end of trouble, and to the deepest, darkest secrets behind one of
the world's top fast food franchises.
Review
Sometimes, I think there needs to be a memo posted somewhere explaining that just because a character is Eccentric, it
doesn't make them interesting. Just because a concept is Silly, it doesn't make it interesting. Just because the author is
practically staving in my ribs nudging my side and winking at how Clever and Quirky and Crude the story is, hammering it
home with every sentence, it doesn't make said story remotely engaging, enjoyable, or interesting. Indeed, the harder an
author tries, the less interesting I'm inclined to find it. And if I'm not interested, I'm not laughing.
The story starts off on an iffy note, introducing four unlikable characters engaged in unlikable antics - namely devouring
the hatchlings of a giant mantid, whom they casually slaughter when it comes calling for revenge. This is all played for
laughs, but does not predispose me to care one bit about any of these characters, except perhaps the poor mantid. Indeed, I
half-expected these to be the bad guys, especially as they treat the whole incident like a drug deal gone sour, or some
sort of illegal poaching ring. Then we cut to Darren and Lena, two cardboard caricatures in what will be an entire army of
cardboard caricatures, whom I suspect existed just to lead the reader into the concept of Sin du Jour and provide an
outsider's point of view to whom characters could explain things... only people don't really explain things, and the
narrative jumps all over into random places and people anyway, and Darren and Lena get lost in the shuffle and don't really
seem to belong or have a purpose for existing (Darren in particular). Then the author chucks a bucket full of Eccentric and
Silly caricature characters at the reader, devotes far too much page time to the unlikable foursome from the introduction
(who conduct their jobs, seeking out ingredients and recipes and espionage, like a crack team of thieves, only with so many
out-of-the-blue gizmos and gadgets there really isn't much in the way of tension to the heist) while making tiresome and
overplayed jabs at fast food megacorporations and the questionable nature of their food-colored products. Eventually,
things get back to the catering event itself, where things take utterly absurd twists on the way to a finale that I think
the author thought was very, very Clever. And, of course, it's only the first "affair" of a series dedicated to the
Eccentric and Silly exploits of Chef Luck and Sin du Jour, which devolves the whole story into an overlong setup for a
single joke.
Maybe if I worked in kitchens I'd laugh at the joke. Or maybe if I lived in New York City. Or maybe if I were someone other
than myself, I'd be rolling on the floor trying not to crush my Kindle, laughing helplessly. But I have not worked in a
kitchen, I do not live in New York City, and I am (much to my frequent dismay) not someone other than myself, and just
because I was clobbered repeatedly over the head with Eccentric, Silly, Clever, Quirky, and Crude things, I failed to find
more than a scrap of it interesting, let alone funny.