The Darkslayer: Wrath of the Royals
The Darkslayer series, Book 1
Craig Halloran and Ernie Chang
Two-Ten Book Press
Fiction, Fantasy/Humor
Themes: Thieves
*+
Description
Through the infinite reaches of eternity, ascended races of immortals seek the Meaning of Life, the ever-elusive Edge of the Universe... and ways to alleviate
the crushing boredom of omnipotent powers and endless existence. To this end, the being Tritos created the unique world of Bish. Unlike other worlds, natural laws
of evolution and entropy do not apply here. It is a planet of constant chaos, without learning or science, filled with monsters and magic. On Bish, the forces of
Good and Evil eternally struggle for the amusement of the onlooking Tritos... and, lest one ever gain an upper hand (and ruin the fun,) an equalizing failsafe
always keeps things in balance.
Venir the warrior travels the wilds of Bish, slaughtering evil underlings as the supernaturally powerful Darkslayer. Among civilization, though, his ego and his love
of mind-clouding grog land him in no end of trouble - which is how he found himself, hung over and chained, in the dungeons beneath the city of Bone. With his thief
friend Melegal, he escapes, but the wealthy Royal princeling he angered prior to his arrest won't let him go that easily. Nor is the Venir's only pursuer: the underlings
tire of his predations, as they tire of the irritatingly fast-breeding humans of the surface world. They determine to end the threat of the Darkslayer once and for all.
Even by Bish's chaotic standards, things are going to get wild...
Review
This free-for-Kindle edition was billed as a "fun," "hilarious" fantasy.
Put simply: It wasn't.
The inhabitants of Bish are, to a man (or, very rarely, woman), flat, uninteresting entities, too stupid and annoying to even be self-parodying stereotypes. They wander
aimlessly through a series of events that, I suppose, constituted a plotline, but read more like the results of a Random Plot Generator. Along the way, they trade
modern-sounding dialog that must've been hilarious within the author's head, but which came across as forced and stilted. For one particularly lousy example, Melegar
earns the illogical nickname "Me." Why "Me" instead of the more natural "Mel?" Apparently, to justify the following (paraphrased) zinger towards the end: "Listen to me!"
"Me? is Me here?!?" Ha, ha. This setup, sadly, is one of the few examples of follow-through to be found; the author was evidently too busy chuckling over the dialog to
remember such basic writing steps as proofreading (countless misused apostrophes-as-plurals and misused homonyms) and beta-reading. (At least, beta-reading by people who
aren't pals, and are willing to point out such minor flaws as his utter failure to generate a micro-iota of reader interest.) This edition also features a number of
original illustrations, all of which look strangely distorted and blandly generic. Naturally, there is every hint of a sequel.
This being a free download, it's hard to say that I overpaid, but I did spend my irreplaceable time slogging through this rotten turkey... and rarely have I so desperately
wished I could get a refund!